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At some point during late adolescence, I began to recognize a subtle difference between the general population and me when it came to movie & tv show preferences.

While I enjoyed light-hearted comedies as much as anyone else, I rarely ever added them to my list of “favorite movies” (unless they were damn good). Toward the end of high school, I began to spend more and more time in the Drama section of Blockbuster (for those born long after me, “Blockbuster” was a store where you could browse hard copies of movies and then check them out as rentals. This was the *only* way you could “legally” pick out a movie or TV show and watch it at your house).

Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t a fan of tragedies, especially if they were theatrical ones. (I’m not a fan of most theater in general, but I’ll write more on that later). I didn’t enjoy watching people suffer for the sake of a romantic storyline, like in Moulin Rouge, Titantic, or Tristan & Isolde.

What I enjoyed were movies with characters who forced you to confront your darker thoughts and experiences, and then helped you deal with them. For example, some of my favorite movies back then were (and still are, in some cases) Good Will Hunting, Little Miss Sunshine, Stranger than Fiction, and Girl, Interrupted. I remember family members and friends saying, “The world is already depressing enough. Why would you want to watch something that makes you cry?” or “I only like moves that make me feel good…”

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with this. Sometimes, you are just dealing with too much to add someone else’s fictional drama on top of it all.

But I strongly believe that there is an appropriate time to face your darker thoughts and allow yourself to feel what they make you feel. Chasing instant gratification and doing whatever it takes to avoid being alone with your thoughts will only lead to running away from part of yourself for the rest of your life.

With that super long intro out of the way, we can get to the good stuff!

“Feel Something” is a series where I recommend something that I love which is intended to hit you right in the feels, even if it hurts, but always for the better. The purpose of this is to encourage you to face your thoughts, accept them, and feel what you feel. None of these things exist just to jettison you into depression (that wouldn’t have any point—I wouldn’t do that to you!) but rather, they are stories or topics that are meaningful and important, but that may be difficult to get through.

AFTER THAT. I include a kabillion happy or funny things to pick you back up and help you feel better so as not to completely ruin your day.

Without further adieu, it’s time to feel something.

Short Term 12

This movie was recommended to me via Netflix algorithm.

And lemme tell ya. Good freaking job, Netflix-Mathematician-AIProgrammer-Man.

First of all, this movie stars Brie Larson (>.> I <3 her) as well as John Gallagher, the guy who plays Jim in The Newsroom.

Why are you so nice to me?”

“You being serious now? Well, it’s easy. It’s because you are the weirdest, most beautiful person that I’ve ever met in my whole entire life.”

It’s about the kids and the counselors at a “short term” foster care center. It’s beautifully directed, well-paced, and both touching and funny.

My favorite aspect of this movie is that it includes two parallel coming-of-age stories, one dealing with a young teenage girl, and the other with chick who is 20-something, and the movie ends with both transitions still in progress.

The part of the movie that struck me hardest was the story about the octopus. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I literally had to pause the movie and let it sink in before moving on. It’s one of those simple, haunting, metaphorical ideas that will never, ever leave me, thus changing the way I see certain things forever.

Look it up on Netflix and watch it! Gogogogogo.

Pick-me-up time. ONWARD.

^.^

Recently, I was caught up in a several-months-long bout of on-and-off depression (caused by nothing), and then a couple of weeks of pure awfulness. The good news is that I stumbled upon my own metaphorical, tiny, hilarious piece of miracle corn.

I’m alluding to, of course, the climax of Allie Brosh’s amazing Hyperbole and a Half piece, “Adventures in Depression” and “Depression Part Two.”

Her story was in my head throughout the whole experience I’m about to share with you, so I suggest that you stop and read her post(s) before reading on if you haven’t already!

For the sake of context, I’ll do my best to crappily summarize what I’m talking about.

As described by Allie, when you’re depressed, you go through an era of numbness, and you begin to think that you’ll never feel anything ever again, and that you have nothing to look forward to in your future.

Why do anything? What’s the point of working or showering or getting out of bed? It’s not like you’re going to get anything out of it.

But then, one day, you’ll find some random thing so funny—in Allie’s case -spoiler alert- it was a tiny piece of corn that was just sitting by itself under her fridge—that you’ll laugh until you cry. As everyone else wonders if you’ve finally lost it, you’ll know that you have finally found “it” again—it being the thing that makes waking up every day (or at least, most days :P) worth it.

I find comfort in the fact that even if nothing especially “good” ever happens to me again (although, I’m sure it will), it’s possible that something insignificant will strike me as so incredibly funny that I’ll laugh and cry and feel better.

Depression is not the point of this post—so please, release the obligation-to-worry that was building up inside you, or you’ll miss the point.

The point happens to be [dramatic pause] Marcel.

One random summer day, I clicked on a Petfinder link that my friend shared on Facebook. I ended up scrolling through all of the available animals just to pass the time.

Eventually, a certain picture caught my eye.

The picture was of a small black cat whose body—apart from his head and feet—had been completely shaved. And his name—was “Marcel.”

He looked so endearingly pathetic, like a Monsters Inc scarer who had emerged from a door with a sock on his back and suffered the consequences.

I can’t explain to you exactly what it was that triggered such a reaction, but as soon as my eyes focused upon this cat’s face, I LWACed so hard, I could barely continue sitting upright in my chair.

After a few moments, Jon found his way over to my desk to find out what the f was happening. I could barely speak, so I just pointed at the screen.

Jon was amused, but incredulous. He didn’t understand.

In case you’re feeling skeptical, I’ll try to explain.

In the moment that I saw that cat, my imagination filled in all the blank spaces surrounding his existence, and I could suddenly foresee a future I was actually interested in being a part of.

The future that I had in mind was not one in which I adopted Marcel and we joyfully lived out the rest of our days, but rather, one in which it was possible for me to experience joy—in particular, the joy that comes from laughing until you cry due to some random insignificant thing you happen to cross paths with.

Speaking of joy—

Good news!

Marcel was adopted this week. My friend, who works at the Humane Society, said that he was adopted by a couple of college kids who were psyched that he can walk on a harness. She also added that “they did interrupt his afternoon sunbathing, which he did not appreciate.”

melandcholy

& stuff.

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Feel Something #1

Short Term 12

Why are you so nice to me?”

“You being serious now? Well, it’s easy. It’s because you are the weirdest, most beautiful person that I’ve ever met in my whole entire life.”

Marcel Doing Anything

Good news!